A silent cry for help

I'm in a deep coma, and have been for some time now. when will i realize? feeling insecure is not helping. the clouds reconnect, while i pray to have one last good cry. i dont want to be like this any longer. it's like a hungry mouse wanting that piece of cheese but cant get to it because it is being stopped by the outside world. im trying to escape from the stress but cant because of the memories. how do i stop my mind from thinking? i reject myself because you rejected me. i feel like putting myself in a bubble and flying high above the sky so i can see how beautiful life really is, when i'm not in the mix of emotions. reality is hard to accept,but in reality thats how we find our inner beings. how we learn from our mistakes, and how we grow. people make this thing we call life what it is. love, hate, sorrow, pain, we all go through it. were only at ease in the present time. i want to be able to love, i want to feel that happiness i have been longing for. i dont want to be damaged forever. my heart is broken, but is slowly healing. i want for people to come together and cry and know that everything is okay. i want god to tell me that i'll be alright, i want a sign and for it to touch me in a way that will wake me up for eternity. god please wake me up!