oblivious, stoned, nonchalant, happy,WHATEVER!!!

Ive worked so hard not to see this guy again, and one night i made the move. so were involved again. am i doing the wrong thing? of course i am but i dont care. im doing this for myself now because i have needs too. i do want to meet someone new but am too lazy to try. people that i meet i just dont find interesting. maybe cuz im shallow or maybe cuz im scared, either way i still dont know. i want to be set financially more than romantic or emotionally. i just hope this time i dont fall too deep. this time its all in the palm of my hands. i make the moves and im in control!!!!!